The Mario Kart Conundrum -GerIta-
by swaginski
Summary: One day, Feliciano Vargas- a carefree man from North Italy, decides to play Mario Kart. The only thing is; he doesn't have the actual game- nor does he have a console. -Short Story-


It was May 15th 2010.

Feliciano stared intently at his computer screen.

For the past three months he had contemplated saving the money for a Mario Themed Nintendo DS, but since he spent it all on Spaghetti noodles to fill up his bathtub yesterday for his occasional bath- he had to scratch that idea.

For he had longed to play a certain game. This was not a regular game; you may question. This was Mario Kart 7- the prolonged most wanted game ever. He wanted to race, and hit Peach with a red turtle shell to get back at her for being a little bitch. This was all Feliciano wanted, aside from unlimited amounts of Parmesan Cheese.

Yet, alas, there was one part in his Italian mind that had an idea; even though his mind was clouded with Romano's insults and countless recipes. There was a mischievous side to this carefree man that no one really knew about; for he could be rebellious if he wanted to. Maybe today was one of those days.

As nimble and quick as he was- Ludwig was already downstairs reading the paper- and as Feliciano tried to sneak past him he had already been spotted. "Oh, it's you again." Said the German man; glancing up from the newspaper to glance at the half-naked Feliciano. "I thought you were asleep."

"No, I was just snorting Parmesan for the trillionth time-"Jokingly said the cheerful man, "But I was awake."

Neither was Lud surprised nor found his joke funny in the least. He nearly directed his eyes toward the daily news. Feliciano dropped his act of sneakiness and pulled on a coat to hide his bare chest. "Come with me, Lud."

His eyes darted to the Italian man in surprise. What could this possibly mean? Was he about to get laid? He had no idea. His mind- cluttered in thought; pondered of all the reasons why Feliciano wanted him. But nonetheless- they were all quite dirty. Feli only looked somewhat emotionless than he usually is- but stayed content. He opened the door with ease and unlocked the car. Ludwig's heart raced. This soon in the morning?

Lud quickly sat in the passenger seat; for Feliciano looked at him and cocked his head as he closed the front door. "Feliciano, where are we going?" Ludwig looked at him in suspicion.

Feliciano's lips curled into the form of the smile, his hands resting on the steering wheel. A sense of power and control welled in his heart. "I want- to play Mario Kart."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You want to play _what_?" Ludwig was so very confused. "I thought you broke your DS two years ago-"

"I said," Feliciano raised his voice, "I want to play Mario Kart."

"I do not understand." Ludwig was the one to tilt his head this time. He hid his head in confusion. "Then why are we in the car?"

Before Ludwig Beilschmidt could ask another question, Feli stepped hard on the gas pedal. "_IT'S A ME, MARIO! LET'S-A GO!"_

Screaming in both surprise and pure terror- Ludwig clung to the seat with his strong hands. "_FELI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" _He yelled, as Feliciano whirred into Highway 66. The honking of horns could be heard for miles- Feli nearly crashing into a yellow Volvo and a truck full of concrete. Ludwig was nearly pissing himself.

"_I'M TRYING TO GET IN FIRST PLACE, TESTA DI CAZZO." _Realizing he had just called his boyfriend a Dickhead in his native language, he shut his mouth. Rolling up the window; the Italian chucked a glass jar at another car and rushed in front of them. Even if Ludwig was the manliest man you have ever met- he never failed to scream like a girl. When another car cut them off and Feliciano blared his horn, Ludwig screamed almost too loudly.

"_WE'RE GOING TO GET ARRESTED! HEILIGE SCHEIßE." _The German grasped hold of the steering wheel and then proceeded to pull themselves over on the side of the road. Feliciano flung his arms around to keep Ludwig from stopping him, and pushed him backward to the backseat- restraining his power once again. Stepping on the gas pedal at full speed once more, the Fiat roared to life.

"_Feliciano please stop this." _Ludwig tried to pull himself into the passenger seat once more, yet Feliciano took a heavy turn causing Lud to swing backwards due to the cause of gravity. He whimpered as the foam did not catch his fall- hitting his head on the glass window. He yelped as pain spread through the back of his skull. "I'm begging you- stop this car this instant." He never liked raising his voice at Feliciano.

"_I must do it for the sake of it being done. I'm sorry Ludwig- but this Grand Prix has just begun."_

Before they knew it, Police Sirens had rung in the distance. "I knew it." Ludwig held his forehead in his palm. "This is all your fault if I get put in jail."

"No worries!" The Italian spoke way too cheerfully, "At least we aren't drunk." Feliciano finally agreed to stop the car, pulling over to the side of the road- grass hitting the tires.

"That would be catastrophic." Ludwig face-palmed. His head still throbbing and his heart racing from the adrenaline.

"This is why I should not let you drive."


End file.
